


Never be like you

by birthtwinss



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: 98liners, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Football | Soccer, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, and Sunwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birthtwinss/pseuds/birthtwinss
Summary: Two boys kissing is the tip of the icebergorin which Kevin is sent to boarding school, Sunwoo is whipped and Changmin wants to dance.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Sunwoo, Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 13
Kudos: 88
Collections: Die Jungz Fest (R1)





	Never be like you

**Author's Note:**

> Bingo Card 07 "Queer Media", Prompts "Him"/ "Handsome Devil" / "Two boys kissing"
> 
> Hi! Can I just say how much I loved Two boys kissing?? The descriptions were so tantalizing and the story brought me to tears!
> 
> Also will I ever get tired to say thank you to the mods?

It all starts with a kiss.

It's not just any kiss, rather a kiss between two boys, full of hope and eager to change the world, and despite their young age they've lost their innocence long ago, so they know it will take more than a kiss to make that happen, but just changing someone's world is more than enough.

It's a gesture. Two boys who love each other, tired of feeling helpless, trying to show the inhabitants of a small town in Canada —and the world— that there is nothing wrong with them.

Kevin and Jacob kiss for 22 hours straight, in an event that is recorded and streamed live, in an attempt to break the world record for kissing and make people understand.

There’re always consequences.

For Kevin, whose father is a candidate running for Mayor of the city - and whose prime concern is voter approval— the consequences mean being forced to leave the country and move all the way back to Korea, on the other side of the world, where he was born.

And even though this city has definitely seen worse, people love to turn a blind eye to the real problems. Contrarily, they prefer to focus their energy on making up hundreds of reasons why the two boys just committed the biggest crime. And since being gay is not illegal in Vancouver, he can't be sent to jail, Thus, he is sent to a boys' boarding school instead

For Jacob, the consequences are no better. His parents give him support, holding his hand and telling him how proud they are, but he still has to say goodbye to his boyfriend.

Kevin doesn't hide his disappointment as his father drives him to the airport and escorts him to the departure gate, but he leaves it behind. He only carries his luggage and the memories of Jacob's lips on his own.

*

Boarding school is Kevin's worst nightmare. St. Joseph is the perfect place for spoiled rich kids with an unhealthy obsession with soccer and a strong devotion to heteronormativity.

Needless to say Kevin does not fall into any of those categories. He's gay. He's an art kid. And he doesn't believe he needs to exaggerate any aspect of his identity in order to preserve it.

So basically, he’s screwed.

Of course, Kevin doesn't know about it and he learns it the hard way.

During his first class, Kevin introduces himself to the people in his class, who are mildly curious about the foreign new boy. At the end of the day, they approach Kevin and start talking to him, irrelevant but safe topics, the same as always when you just meet someone.

Then, one of the guys asks Kevin for his account name on social media and Kevin makes the mistake of displaying his profile, full of pictures of him and Jacob —smiling at the back of the school bus, cuddling as they watched a movie on Kevin’s living room, traveling down the road when Jacob got his driver's license.

The boys freeze in their spot and clam up, and suddenly their previous interaction is forgotten. And this, this is something Kevin knows too well, the narrowing eyes, as narrow as their minds, the tension building in the air, so thick he could almost cut it with a knife.

Kevin huffs. They are all quick to judge and take sides, but no one dares to ask the question. And while it's nobody's business, Kevin has nothing to hide and admits proudly that the boy in the photos is indeed his boyfriend.

From that day on, the boys make sure to let him know that he doesn't belong there.

Even in his room, Kevin feels restless, but this time for different reasons.

There are spooky posters hanging on the walls and dolls, red-haired and sinister, sitting carefully on one of the beds, and Kevin can feel his piercing gaze every time he makes a move.

To make matters worse, his roommate goes missing every day leaving Kevin by himself in their room.

But, hey, at least Kevin's roommate keeps their shared area tidy

Kevin’s days get a lot better when he gets to talk to Jacob. Because time zones exist and Kevin and Jacob are 14 hours apart, the best time for Kevin to call Jacob is in the mornings, just before school starts.

They talk religiously everyday about everything and anything, like Kevin's former art teacher asking Jacob to send Kevin his regards, or the puppie Jacob's older brother adopted recently. Most of the time they talk about how much they miss each other.

What Kevin doesn't tell Jacob, however, is that he feels lonely every second he spends in that place and that kids are ten times worse than in their old school. That would only make Jacob feel sad and frustrated.

Kevin listens earnestly down to the smallest detail of everything his boyfriend tells him, capturing every nuance of his voice, and he wonders whether there are things that Jacob is keeping to himself too.

Jacob is in the middle of telling the story of how he ripped his shirt during basketball practice when someone pushes Kevin from behind, making him bump into the lockers and drop the phone. His eyes widen in horror as the screen cracks and the phone shuts down.

He knew he shouldn't have bought an iPhone.

The harsh laughter of a couple of boys, the same boys who started it all, echoes down the hall as they walk away throwing insults, words Kevin doesn't recognize but gets the idea of. He doesn't need to be fluent in Korean to understand what they mean.

And this, the feeling of helplessness that invades him, is what Kevin hates most. Because Korean is not his mother tongue and there're words that he doesn’t know and he's unable to articulate a proper answer.

Especially under pressure, when there are too many things Kevin wants to say, and his mind momentarily paralyzes and he struggles to put his thoughts into words.

Kevin does not speak the language fully and thus he cannot literally speak for himself.

By the time he has finally formed a coherent sentence, the boys are already at the other end of the hall.

For the first time since he left Canada, Kevin's eyes fill with tears and he doesn't think he can hold them back.

He drops down to the floor to lift his now useless phone and a pair of worn out sneakers enter his field of vision. He looks up, ready to fight whoever dares to intimidate him, instead he finds an outstretched hand to help him up and a boy, with tanned skin and a pouty lips, staring at him impassively.

All in all, it's the friendliest someone has ever been to Kevin there.

*

Sunwoo is smart, smart enough to skip a year, and smart enough to get a scholarship to the most prestigious school in Korea.

Still, he's not smart enough not to fall in love with Chanhee, St. Joseph's golden boy.

He’s the right guy, with the right family and the right hobbies.

The youngest son from one of the wealthiest families in the country, straight-A student and co-captain of the soccer team, which altogether, makes him one of the most popular boys in school.

Chanhee is everything he will never be, and at first Sunwoo thinks that explains why he feels drawn to him, the reason why he’s left speechless after their first (and last) proper conversation and he has to look away when their eyes meet, why he feels a tug on his chest every time he sees him smile.

When Sunwoo finds out that he likes Chanhee —in a way that makes him want to hold his hands and cradle his face non-platonically—, he’s puzzled, and just like a puzzle, everything starts to fit together. Sunwoo, who until then had never shown interest in anyone, much to his mother's concern and his sister's delight, can't think of anything but Chanhee.

With no one to turn to, Sunwoo deals with his crush by actively avoiding Chanhee, which is harder than it seems given they’re roommates.

Three years later, after many sleepless nights, Sunwoo's better at hiding his feelings.

No one would think about that, but if you take a few moments and pay attention to Sunwoo, if someone were to look a little closer, they’d realize that he's completely gone for Chanhee.

That's probably why Sunwoo decides to get close to Kevin, even if it means becoming a target. Sunwoo feels guilty because in other circumstances, that would be him.

In other circumstances, Sunwoo would be the one being harassed and called names, his books teared apart and his belongings destroyed.

But, given the fact that his social position isn't the same as the other students, they didn't bother to pay attention to him, and that gave him some security to allow himself to feel those feelings.

He supposes it's probably the only good thing about being socially invisible, even if it means being invisible to Chanhee.

*

Kevin hesitates for a moment before knocking on the bedroom’s door.

Normally, he wouldn't be so nervous about a simple request like this one, but now he wonders if he's asking too much, putting his newly found friendship at risk. Although Kevin doesn't want to admit it, his confidence has been destroyed a little since he got to St. Joseph.

It's pretty early in the morning and there's no one around, classes won't start until an hour at least, so Kevin waits patiently.

A minute later, the door opens and a boy pokes his head out.

Kevin breathes deeply, looking anywhere but the boy's eyes. As a matter of fact, he's always been a mess around pretty boys —it took him a fair couple of weeks talking to Jacob without stuttering.

The thought of his boyfriend makes something burn in his chest, the too-familiar ache of longing, but he focuses on the task at hand.

“Can I talk to Sunwoo?”

The boy tilts his head, looking him up and down with curiosity. “And who are you?”

“Sunwoo’s friend, Kevin.”

The boy's eyebrows shoot up, eyes flashing with recognition and Kevin groans inwardly. He doesn’t feel like picking a fight anytime soon. To his surprise, the boy looks at him right in the eyes, a smile dancing on his lips.

“Changmin’s new roommate, right?”

Kevin blinks at him. "Yes?"

“Nice to meet you.” The boy lets out a low chuckle and a yawn escapes past his lips as well. “I’m afraid Sunwoo is busy right now.”

“Uh, okay, thanks.” Kevin manages to say before turning in his heels and dragging his feet to his room.

Chanhee closes the door, careful not to make any noise, as he looks at the figure on the other bed. He then tiptoes back to his bed, but stops in his tracks when the boy stirs in his sleep.

Once he's sure Sunwoo is still asleep, he makes it to the bed and lays there, eyes closed and listening to the light snoring that fills the room.

*

Kevin stops in the middle of the hallway and waits for Sunwoo to catch up. “You look different."  
"It's the eyebags," Sunwoo says in a sulky voice, “I stayed up all night for homework."

They start walking toward the lockers. “Well, you can go take a nap now.”  
Sunwoo shakes his head, groaning. “I can’t,” he takes out his cellphone and checks the hour, “I have soccer practice in fifteen.”

"Oh," Kevin bites his lip and gestures to the cellphone, "That reminds me, I went to your room in the morning."

Sunwoo furrows his brow. “You did?"

"Yeah, wanted to ask you a favor, but, uh, there was this boy, tall, black mullet ha—”

“Chanhee.” Sunwoo says quickly and it comes instinctively, as if he had pronounced that name countless times.

“So that’s his name.” Kevin hums, “Do you know him well? He seemed nice and—”

Sunwoo interrupts him for the second time. “He is, and he is my roommate.” He stops in front of his lockers. “Well, why were you looking for me?”

“Right,” Kevin decides not to pry any further —for the moment, at least—, “I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your phone, mine is broken and I don’t know when I’ll be getting a new one.”

He makes a pause, “I need to call my boyfriend or he’ll think something happened and freak out.”

“Oh,” Sunwoo gives hands Kevin his phone, “Here.”

“Thanks,” Kevin smiles, wide and bright, “but, I need it in the mornings, I mean, we have different time zones.”

Sunwoo nods in understanding. “Sure.”

A sensation of gratitude floods over Kevin's body and directly to his heart, and he leans on the locker next to Sunwoo’s. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Sunwoo takes a book out of his backpack and puts it in his locker, then closes the door. “You never told me how you ended up here."

Kevin sighs. That's something no one in school knows so far and it's probably only a matter of time before they start asking, and it's okay, the whole thing was about people to stop treating them as if they were something they could brush under the carpet, and watch them.

So, while Sunwoo leads them to the soccer pitch, Kevin tells him the story from the beginning.

He tells Sunwoo about his and Jacob's friend, Eric, who had been beaten up by two guys when he was leaving a restaurant with his boyfriend. He tells Sunwoo that when Eric went to the police station to file a complaint, the police officers did not bother to track down his assaultants, and instead told him to be careful outside.

As he tells his story, Kevin feels fear, frustration and anger overflowing him. He remembers Eric's face and Eric's parents' face at the hospital, holding their child's hand, and the panicked look on Jacob's face.

Sunwoo listens in silence, his mind running a mile a minute, thinking about what is so bad about being different and why would people harm others for being the way they're, why normal means safe.

In the end, Sunwoo can't come up with any answer and all he says is simply “I can't imagine kissing someone for 22 hours.”

Kevin can't let it go this time. "Not even if it's with Chanhee?" He says with a subtle smirk.  
Sunwoo blushes bright red and he pushes Kevin, who almost trips over but that doesn't stop him from snickering.

They reach the playing field, an immense surface of intense green color, where they find a group of boys, already stretching and warming up. Kevin recognizes Chanhee's face among them, talking animatedly with a couple of boys, the same ones who mess with him.

“He hangs out with them?” Kevin grimaces, is face twisting in discontent.

Sunwoo shrugs. “People have flaws, you know.”

*

In one of the empty rooms of the school there’s a boy, sweaty forehead and messy hair. The boy’s been there for hours, as far as Chanhee knows, dancing to a song that only he hears and following steps that only he knows, that he knows by heart.

Chanhee walks into the room and sits cross-legged in the corner, his eyes lingering on the angles of the boy's arms and legs, admiring the control he has over his body.

When the boy finally stops, removing the airpods from his ears, Chanhee pats the spot next to him and smiles. Changmin walks over and sits, resting his head on Chanhee’s shoulder.

"And soccer practice?" Changmin breathes heavily.

"It ended an hour ago." Chanhee offers her a bottle of water. "You've improved."

Changmin gulps down the bottle of water before answering. "I still can do better."

"I know." Chanhee plays with the bottle cap while, "Still, you've improved."

Whatever Changmin is about to retort dies in his throat when Chanhee gives him a proud look.

*

Kevin doesn't have to wait long before Sunwoo opens the door, and lets him in. He then grabs the phone from his desk and tosses it unceremoniously to Kevin.

“Just let me know when you finish.” Sunwoo mumbles as he stumbles back to bed.

“I'll be outside.”

Sunwoo grunts in response and Kevin leaves the room, but after the door closes Sunwoo tosses and turns in bed, unable to fall asleep

Through the walls, Sunwoo hears Kevin's faint voice, rushed words in another language that he doesn't know, and he can make out the fondness in his friend's voice, can hear his smile as he talks.

It makes him feel like he's intruding.

"Is this going to be a regular thing?"

Sunwoo turns around abruptly and finds Chanhee lying still in bed, looking at the ceiling. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.”

"I almost believe you," Chanhee gives him a lazy smile, rubbing his eyes. “You didn't answer my question.”

*

There's a thing Kevin does when he feels exceptionally happy, something that his friends are used to, something he hasn't been doing lately, but as he gets back to his room, right after talking with Jacob, Kevin can't contain his excitement.

Changmin wakes up to find Kevin twerking.

But Sunwoo knows none of that, so it comes as a surprise to him when Kevin tells him they're having lunch with Changmin.

Long story short, Kevin says, they got to talk earlier that day and, despite all the creepy stuff Changmin hoards in their room, he's actually very friendly, and unlike Kevin, Sunwoo has a hard time talking to other people, but he finds he doesn't mind talking to Changmin.

And Sunwoo is glad to find out that it isn’t a one-day thing when they meet again at lunch the next day at the same table in the cafeteria. He knows he wouldn't have gotten out of his way to talk to other people, and that's something else he feels grateful towards Kevin for, and he's so invested in the conversation that he almost misses when the full-of-people cafeteria suddenly goes silent all at once.

Chanhee walks towards them and Juyeon, co-captain of the soccer team and one of Chanhee's friends is trailing behind, looking as confused as Sunwoo feels. People stare as Chanhee takes a seat next to Changmin and places his tray on the table, offering him a small smile and casually putting his arm around Changmin's shoulder.

"Are you two friends?" Juyeon asks, fazed.

"We're more than that," says Changmin with a crooked smile, moving closer to Chanhee, "Best friends."

Juyeon drops his tray on the table, clearly unhappy, and sits on the other side next to Chanhee. "I didn't --I didn't know it".

"Do you need to know everything about him?" Changmin scoffs

Juyeon opens his mouth to retort, but Chanhee is faster. "Changmin doesn't like hanging around ...many people, but since he has company now, I guess there’s no problem if we sit here too right?” He smiles, sunny and bright.

True to his word, Chanhee and Juyeon join their table for the rest of the semester.

*

In a strange twist of events Sunwoo ends up being the reason the soccer team secures a place to the finals.

It happens as follows: the center player sprains his ankle during the first half of the game and Sunwoo, who is a substitute, is called to replace him.

Juyeon's eyes track him as he makes his way to the field and Chanhee shoots him a thumbs up and Sunwoo swallows hard.

It's Sunwoo's first time playing during an official match and he appreciates that he doesn't have time to think. Juyeon may not be his biggest fan, but he knows how he plays as a team, Sunwoo gives him that, and dribbles past the opponents, shielding the ball from the other team, until Sunwoo has a good position for a good shot. And Sunwoo does the same.

The final score is 5-1.

*

Before he knows it, Kevin falls into a comfortable routine. Wakes up and goes to Sunwoo and Chanhee's room, pretends he doesn't notice the close proximity and lingering glances between Chanhee and Sunwoo and talks to Jacob over the phone, then he goes to classes, have lunch with the boys, and run back to his dorm.

Sometimes he goes along with Changmin, sits in a corner of the practice room, and thinks to himself that he would never be able to do what Changmin does.

And he’s completely fine with that.

For as much as Kevin dislikes to admit it, his time in St. Joseph isn't as bad as he once thought and serves him to think about his future and make plans.

It's lunchtime and Kevin and Changmin are arguing whether or not marriage works for young couples.

"So that's your plan?" Juyeon asks timidly, playing with a spoon, "You'll fly back to Canada and ask your boy to marry you?"

It's the first time Juyeon speaks, actually engages in the conversation, and everyone at the table turns around to look at him.

"Well, you know what they say, if you like it then you should put a ring on it."

"Who says that?"

Kevin resists the urge of slamming his head against the table and Sunwoo gives him a tentative pat on the back.

*

Tired of watching Sunwoo pacing back and forth around the room, Chanhee takes him to the playing field in the middle of the night

Chanhee looks up to the half-moon high in the sky, full of sprinkled stars. For him, it's a sight to behold.

Following closely behind, Sunwoo looks at Chanhee, his pale skin glowing in the dark, another unreachable star. For him, it's a sight to behold.

It's not the cold night breeze that sends shivers down Sunwoos' spine and it's not the prospect of displaying a poor performance what makes his heart beat faster anymore.

"You're doing much better than me before my first game," Chanhee says, laying down on the grass and Sunwoo lays down next to him, both looking at each other. "I couldn't sleep and barely ate, yet I threw up at least three times that night."

Sunwoo thinks hard, trying to recall a night from three years ago. "I don't --I don't remember that."

"I wouldn't have expected you to notice." Chanhee gives him a nonchalant shrug. "Changmin was there though, massaging my temples and telling me silly stories to distract me."

Sunwoo feels a sudden pang of jealousy, and shakes it off, because he's glad that Chanhee has other people looking out for him.

“Now,” Chanhee turns around and looks at Sunwoo, “I don’t think I need to massage your temples but I have tons of silly stories to tell, if you want me to.”

He wants to. Sunwoo wants to hear every word of every story that Chanhee is willing to tell him.

Sunwoo drowns in Chanhee’s words and the sound of his voice and read the emotions in his eyes as he speaks, drawing so close that Sunwoo feels Chanhee’s hands brushing against his and the tip of their noses are pressing against each other.

Sunwoo is painfully aware of all of this, every glance, every touch, and Chanhee doesn't seem to realize that until he's shaking with laughter and slapping Sunwoo's chest.

“This is nice, isn't it?” Chanhee says once he’s regained his composure and looks up at the sky. "I wish we had done it sooner."

Sunwoo nods, his eyes still on Chanhee. “The moon is pretty.” You’re pretty.

Chanhee falls silent for a moment and Sunwoo fears he just ruined the moment.

“Indeed,” Chanhee says softly, barely above a whisper, “Sometimes I wish I were like the moon.”

“How is that?” Sunwoo asks, pursing his lips.

"You know the way the moon looks different each time?” Chanhee sucks in a sharp breath,

“Yesterday it was a full moon in the sky, today we have this, and who knows tomorrow?”  
Sunwoo hums in acknowledgment and Chanhee continues. "But it's still the same moon, right? Isn’t it amazing the way it changes so dynamically?”

“So,” Sunwoo starts, not sure if he understands what Chanhee said, “What would you do if you could change something about you?”

Chanhee doesn't need to think about it, his answer comes faster than Sunwoo expected. “I'd dye my hair pink.”

“Why pink?”

“It would suit me well, don't you think?”

And Chanhee doesn't need to ask. Sunwoo thinks, he thinks of his favorite bubble gum flavor, thinks of the cotton candy he used to eat with his sister on their way back from school, thinks of orchids, his mom's favorite flowers.

Sunwo can’t help but agree with Chanhee. “I do.”

He feels a lot calmer by the time they return to the bedroom.

Sunwoo wakes Chanhee up early in the morning, before they have to leave for the game, and drags him to the bathroom.

"I have something for you." Sunwoo takes out a small box and opens it, "Would you like to try?"

“Where did you get it from?" Chanhee wipes the sleep from his eyes, “Today --Today is the game, I can’t”

“What are they going to do? They won’t let you play?” Sunwoo sees a flash of agitation in Chanhee’s eyes and holds Chanhee's hands in his own, “They need you more than you need them. They need us. I won’t play if you don’t and Juyeon won’t either.”

Sunwoo waits for a response, watching as Chanhee clasps his hands together and his lips curve into a nervous grin.

*

“Not even in my wildest dreams would I have imagined you being excited about a soccer game.” Jacob's voice is barely audible over the loud cheers.

"It's not just a soccer game," Kevin smiles and changes to the rear camera, showing Jacob the school team entering the field. "It's a gesture."

  
Next to him, Changmin lets out a squeak when he sees a boy with pink hair among the other players.

*

_“You’ve got a scholarship, right?” Chanhee says as a greeting when the new kid enters the room, small frame and wide eyes_

  
_He nods._

  
_“You must be really smart then. I’ll have to keep an eye on you.”_

  
_Chanhee always keeps his word_

**Author's Note:**

> the ending might seem a little rushed (ngl it was) but I didn't want to make it angsty which is why I cut a few scenes, so yeah! thanks for reading!
> 
> twt: @birthtwinss


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